As a child, I grew up with parents that just seemed to never get along. My longest memories include my mom yelling at my dad. About coming home late or not being supportive of the household. Now, this isn’t an article saying poor me. It is a problem for many children in the world growing up with parents constantly bickering and screaming at each other. I learned early on that if I wanted to be happy, I had to overcome negativity.
The effect that has on a child is astounding, I was lucky enough to have a good head on my shoulders and never really let it get in between my schooling or friends growing up. But again this isn’t about me. Children are generally a product of their environment and they get their morals and values from their parents.
Now I am not saying my parents were the worst parents in the world, God knows I love them both very much, My mom has been through some of the worst situations I have ever seen, Osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and lupus, and she took care of 2 children and ran a household, while my father worked long hours trying to put food on the table. However, as a growing athlete, it killed my performance in life and on the field.
Any person who has ever experienced this type of environment fill with negativity knows that it is so detrimental to any progress in life and the field. It becomes difficult to overcome the negativity. Constantly dreading going home and having to listen to it. having to put headphones in to do homework or study the playbook. Sitting there wishing that they would just stop. I went through that.
Going into high school and just starting to find my athletic niche in football and lifting. It was great at first because I found something to focus on, I found something that kept me out of the house just that little bit extra. But then it turned into something I constantly thought about from the time I left the house till the time I tried to get to sleep.
Now, what did I do to get through this? Well, that is a tough question, I learned to put all my efforts into my schooling, and into my athletics. Ya cliché answer I know but it’s true. Spending all my efforts on trying to get into a good school and trying to get a football scholarship. I went to school did my work, then went to practice or training and then I came home went to my room and did my homework and studied. I ended up learning that my parent’s problems are exactly that. My parent’s problems. They are their own people and they can make their own choices in life and I was simply sick of letting them put me down and depressing my progress.
I became an Ontario scholar and got honors in my last two years in high school. I also ended my high school football career as team MVP and Had offers from pretty much all Canadian universities. Also, I held all the records for my age and weight in Powerlifting. I exceeded my goals and was elated that I accomplished my dreams of being offered scholarships by universities. I wouldn’t have been able to do that unless I decided I wasn’t going to put down by the negativity in my life.
Overcome Negativity With What Makes You Happy
The point of this article is not necessarily about children or teens dealing with dysfunctional families. But dealing with any oppressive action. Life is not about how many times you get knocked down or put down. It’s about how many times you get back up. Being self-motivated is key. If you cannot get motivated for something you’re “passionate” about then chances are you are not really that passionate about whatever you’re doing.
The point is to find the thing that you can dive into, let yourself go. Give your full attention and your full heart toward whatever it is that you love. That’s all that matters in this life. Do not allow yourself to be oppressed by negative outside forces. Put your blinders on, keep your head up and keep moving forward toward your goals. Let whatever it is that motivates you to be your world and your guide. Keep a smile on your face, Stay positive and always want more for yourself and your loved ones. Never settle on something you don’t want keep up the hard work and your dreams will soon be realized.