It is an interesting concept to think of someone who tried to accomplish a goal and came up short as a failure. I would consider them someone who tried. Not many people are willing to step out on that ledge because they are going to fail. They are so afraid of loss that they don’t even take the step outside of their current perspective.
Spectrum Of Failure
There are many varying degrees on this. A spectrum of failure and the reactions we have toward it. On one end we have those that are totally averse to failure that they simply have no thought to risk it. They have no problem shaming those that do, however.
On the other side of the spectrum, you have those who put no thought into the word failure. They are constantly stabbing away at a goal or multiple goals with no care of continuous loss. Taking no account of how many L’s they have received.
Now there is merit in not caring about failing. As the saying goes “I never learn from winning, I only learn from failing.” Well, that is true. When you fail, you can easily find what went wrong and learn from it, make adjustments and go back and try again. What if you lose again? Okay maybe there was something else that was wrong, okay you fixed it, and you handle your business one more time.
Okay, so now you failed once again. Imagine that this cycle never stopped. It raises a big question. Are you learning? Are you moving in a positive direction? Possibly you are simply repeating a process as a self-fulling prophecy, or maybe you’re just not choosing the right mistakes to fix that is a psychological question that I am not qualified to answer, I digress.
Look At The Other Side Of The Coin
Maybe you need to look at things from a different perspective. Change the way you are approaching the task or tasks at hand. Maybe a new looking glass will achieve the W. But let me throw this thought at you.
Crave Success, Rather Than Learning From Failure
Maybe the best approach to the spectrum is to land somewhere in the middle. What I mean by that is not to be terrified of failing because it does provide lessons but rather being averse to losing.
The concept of loss aversion states that we are more likely to work harder toward a goal not because achieving it is possible but because losing it is possible. We are afraid of losing. I do not know one person who is a competitor who enjoys losing. NOT ONE. With this growing concept of failing as a good thing (which can be) growing to the point where no one cares about the fact that losing is the total opposite to winning.
If you worried a little more about losing, the win could be right around the corner. You know if you were a little more motivated out of the fear of losing you may have stayed up to close that deal, or ran that extra sprint, or trained that extra hour.
10x your expectations
What if you set your expectation at a level 10x of your original expectations and applied some loss aversion to it and failed to reach those expectations? Is it fair to say you will probably land above where you wanted to be in the first place? Maybe, maybe not. The Idea of placing your expectations high is not simply because you want to reach a certain goal but to increase your character in which you want to achieve it. Setting both a personal expectation as well as a professional expectation it will only move you to reach it. People
The Idea of placing your expectations high is not simply because you want to reach a certain goal but to increase your character in which you want to achieve it. Setting both a personal expectation as well as a professional expectation it will only move you to reach it. People hate to lie to themselves. They will claw at anything to reach a standard that they set on their own. Encouraging others to set their expectations at heights that were once not imaginable is far better than someone else doing it for them.
Everyone is different, and individuality is something that needs to be considered. However many people are motivated to not lose as opposed to being motivated to win? You have to change your perspective and focus on getting the W!
Find The Sweet Spot Using Perspective
Here is what it comes down to if you are either too afraid to fail or too easy going toward failure you are probably going to miss the mark. You need to care. Not because if someone else judges you but because of yourself. Your purpose in life should matter so much that losing it should HURT. The possibility of losing it alone should motivate you to take whatever actions necessary to achieve it. Taking multiple L’s when a win is possible if a little bit of loss aversion is applied is foolish. It is time to start caring about losing.
It is okay to be upset that you lost, take the L on the chin. Don’t be okay with the loss learn from it. Set your expectations high enough that even a loss is a win but again still do not be okay with that loss. Be happy when your goals are met but do not be afraid to turn around and set another ridiculous goal once more. Continuous improvement is key, never stop moving!